Tougher Than the Rest
I've invited Dave Murray, a very
good friend of mine, to write a guest blog post for my blog. His is a story
that I believe will inspire you. Life can be a bitch—we all know that. But life
is also a gift. One that far too many of us take for granted.
Dave has written a book. It is a
story about overcoming adversity. A story of how, when faced with
insurmountable odds, you keep pushing forward. A story about determination and never
giving up. A story about living your best life when you know the odds are not
in your favor. A story about hope, strength, acceptance, and forgiveness. It is a serious story written with a good bit of humor... Because sometimes we just need a good laugh when life kicks us square in the face.
Dave was born with cystic fibrosis.
A genetic disease that usually carries a death sentence at a very young age for
the recipient. Dave’s journey has not always been an easy one. But I’ve never
known him to be anything other than upbeat, funny, and strong. He is one of the
strongest people I’ve ever known.
And this is his story:
Joe Congel and I have been friends
since (gulp) the Reagan administration. We are old. I am slightly older
than Joe, and slightly younger than dirt. I remember dirt when it was new. Dirt
was still clean, back then; you could eat off it. Thirty-two years ago, Joe and
I collaborated on a humorous how-to-use-your-VCR book, “Housetraining Your VCR:
A Help Manual For Humans,” which beat the Dummies books to market by a
few months. I wrote the text and Joe drew the illustrations--eventually. Joe
was a bit of a slacker back then. I used to threaten to hold his young
daughter, Rita, off his second-story porch by her ankles until he finished his
pictures. I think I was kidding.
My name is Dave Murray and I will
be sixty-seven in July (I told you I was old), which is really old
when you consider I was born with cystic fibrosis, the most common fatal
genetic disease in the United States today. The current average life expectancy
for CF patients is around forty years. I have been lucky; I was born with a
mild case that bought me lots of time. Then, just about when I was about to run
out of time, a very gracious family in the throes of immeasurable grief
made an incredibly selfless decision to donate the organs of their loved one.
In my case, I received a pair of life-saving new lungs that literally saved
my life.
That was almost nineteen years ago.
I don’t have to tell you what I’ve seen, how the world has changed, in those
nineteen years; after all, you were here too. The iPhone! Streaming! Obama! Uh,
not-Obama. Chat GPT!, which is writing this post you are reading puny
humans bow to your technological mast.
Maybe I’ll skip A.I for now.
I used to hear, “When are you going
to write again?” (I wrote for the legendary Syracuse NY alternative newspaper,
The Syracuse New Times for years, both before and after the book). I
used to say I didn’t have anything I wanted to write about, and I never
thought I did, until about a year ago. Last April, I started work on a
novel, based on my own challenging life story, but the heart of the story is
centered around the time leading up to the transplant. I cover all of the
science, I hope clearly, but also the humanity of someone with end-stage lung
disease. I put you there, with him.
The name of the book has changed
about seventy times (By the time you read this it might be called Harry
Potter and the New Lungs, for all I know) but I think I have a title I can
live with. There’s a Bruce Springsteen song on his Tunnel of Love album,
from about 1987, and the protagonist is talking to a girl. No, he isn’t the
richest, he tells her, or the most handsome, or the smoothest talker. But, he
promises, he will be there at the end, because he’s tougher than the rest.
Tougher Than the Rest.
A lung transplant, any solid organ
transplant is not for the faint of heart; it is a serious operation that offers
a miraculous chance at a new life. A transplant is unnatural in a very
fundamental way. The body’s immune system has evolved over millions of years to
stay vigilant against any foreign invaders, and it does a spectacular job. When
a surgeon sutures a foreign organ (or a pair of organs) into place, the body immediately
hates it and wants it out of there.
The immune system, then, has to be tamped down, enough to prevent
chronic rejection of the donated organ, but not so much that other
opportunistic bacteria gain a foothold.
My body has been walking a
tightrope for nineteen years. For that whole time (and for the rest of my life)
I have taken and will take a daily regimen of about twenty pills and other
meds. The most important of those are the powerful anti-rejection drugs, but I
also take steroids, antibiotics, anti-fungals, antivirals, blood pressure
medicines and insulin shots for diabetes.
I have moderate kidney disease (and am lucky it’s only moderate,
frankly) and I am at increased risk of certain types of cancer.
I traded one set of problems for
another--a trade I gladly made.
I am hoping that Tougher Than
the Rest will appeal to everyone. In many ways, my life is not so different
from yours. I’ve loved, and lost, had
good jobs, and bad. My sense of humor has kept me going when not much else did,
and that is reflected here. Much of the humor is dark, as you might expect.
There are wild experiences, struggles, triumphs and setbacks, bad cars and good
friends, and bad luck.
But an awful lot of great luck.
Finally, a few words about Joe
Congel. Joe’s work ethic improved, a
lot, when he decided he would rather write than draw. The world is better for
it. He is a talented and prolific writer and has written four “Razzman
Chronicles” crime mysteries, each one better than the last, and has also
appeared in numerous other anthologies. He writes smart, well-plotted, engaging
stories that are a delight to read. I take great pride in the fact that Joe
often asks me to read his early drafts and offer my opinions. But you know all
that already.
But I’m proud to call him my
friend, and I thank him for providing this venue to sort-of tell my own story.
If you’d like to read a serialized version of Tougher Than the Rest, I
post a few pages every week on my blog, The Ego Has Landed (https://davemurraywriter.blogspot.com/).
Thanks for reading,
Dave Murray
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I encourage you to check out Dave's blog. Excerpts from his book are there, along with some other great stuff! Click here: Dave's blog
If you'd like to learn more about cystic fibrosis, click here: Learn more about CFIf you'd like to make a donation to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, click here: CFF.org
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I appreciate you taking the time to read my blog. And of course, your thoughts and comments are always welcome. 😊
